… is that one is worth a thousand words. No wonder we put so much effort in choosing the right photographer for a wedding, then.

And still the pictures we love the most at the end of the day, are not the ones where we were frozen in a pose in front of a stately home, but rather the “stolen” ones, when we were hugging our gran, or holding hands with the newly wedded husband under the table…

I know the feeling. Because over autumn and winter months I am constantly scouting the web for inspiration, and researching vendors, and pictures are largely the most useful resource available. Given my professional approach you would think that I would be drawn to details and colours, and flowers and… stuff, you know?! Well, quite the contrary. Without exception I find myself entranced by less professionally relevant pictures… the ones of faces and people.

As much as I love my job and the way I do it, as much as I (humbly) like to think of my contribution to parties as relevant to their success, at the end of the day I feel what I do is almost insignificant. At least when it is compared to the creative genius of those photographers who can catch a fleeting emotion on a face, or capture the intimate gestures exchanged in the little privacy of such a public event as a wedding.

This is maybe the reason why I think photo journalism is the best technique for wedding photography. My clients know they are more than free to choose more traditional vendors* for their wedding album, to have their shoots arranged along the usual milestones, with carefully arranged poses and official portraits. I am quite adamant this solution is often a cheaper alternative (as it requires the photographer to work less hours) and the results can certainly be more stylish and perfectly crafted than impromptu shoots (as far as lights, framing and focus especially are concerned).

Nevertheless, deep down I still feel like a statement I recently saw in an ad, that ‘the best photo of the day is often the one you didn’t realise had been taken‘. It might be that it will be slightly out of focus, or that your hair has escaped its styling, or that you were caught from your ‘bad angle’… but the look of sheer love you’re raising to your husband’s face will be the reason why you will print this picture out of hundreds others, you will frame it and display it on your fireplace mantle, and it will be the constant reminder of the sheer bliss you experienced that day.

Let’s discuss… what kind of wedding photography style did you (or will you) choose for your own wedding? Traditional or photo journalism? And in any case, what guided your choice? Comment away, go on!

* In Italy photo journalism is still very little used in wedding photography. We still tend to regard weddings as formal gatherings… hence the traditional approach to all things wedding!

Ok, maybe the weekly basis thing was sort of a tricky goal for me to achieve, especially during wedding season.

But I am here now, and I would like to discuss etiquette.

In a deeply traditional country as Italy is, etiquette has been ruling the wedding industry for decades. I am not speaking of common sense good manners here, but full blown old fashioned rules. This fact might also account for the inexistence of letterpress here (yup, you cannot find any letterpress stationery supplier over here, weird uh?), the abundance of horrendous silver/crystal favors being handed to guests, not to mention the common belief that a wedding buffet is cheap both in style and price tag.

Luckily, some things are changing, and as a planner I get more and more couples asking for unique details, innovative ideas, not to mention personalised stationery in colours!

However, the credit crunch has also been bringing along other changes which are less desireable, as they indent etiquette at its most important chore, i.e. good manners.

Here is a list of the worst things I’ve seen and those I keep advocating against:

1. More and more couples try to smuggle registry info inside their invites. No matter how nicely phrased and deliciously designed, a direct request for presents is never nice, especially when the “registry info” consists of a bank account information for direct credit!

2. Some don’t realize that by addressing an invite to just one member of a family, they are basically forcing this person to leave his/her family home. My advice is to work closely on the invite list, bearing in mind that no member of a single family should be left uninvited.

3. Very few couples print ThankYou cards with their invite. Some don’t think about it at first, some deem it an unnecessary expense, most forget to thank formally their guests as a consequence. It is never nice to leave a guest or gift-bearer unthanked, and even if you find written card too formal you should always remember to convey your gratitude somehow.

4. The fast pace at which generations have drawn apart in the last decades, means that we sometimes think it impossible to celebrate properly with our elderly relatives and our friends together. As a consequence, many couples plan double events, with a proper sit-down reserved to strict family and more formal relations, and a wild booze-and-dance get-together for friends and colleagues. I strongly advocate against this habit, unless the first party is really restricted to a small number of guests (under 50) and the second is widely open to everybody else (accomodating even 200 guests). That is, if it is obvious that the two groups could never mingle and that there is no A-list party.

5. Similarly, I think it is tactless to have a cash bar at a wedding. People attending a wedding have already spent a fair amount of money on their attire, their wedding gift, not to mention travel and accomodation expenses in some cases. If you cannot afford to provide an open bar it is much better to arrange with your caterers for a limited amount of spirits to be served, than to force your guests to watch their expenses even at the party.

These are only the most serious (in my humble opinion, naturally) faux pas people make when planning a wedding. But they could very easily be avoided by sticking to the one important rule of etiquette: treat everyone with respect and love. If your guestsfeel loved and cared for, nobody will ever complain about paper napkins.

I have a feeling I have been a terrible blogger… The truth is I have managed to keep a decent update ratio on my Italian blog, but I have been hopeless with this item here. I apologize to everybody who’s been disappointed to find this page hardly populated when looking for news about fatamadrina. In my defense, I have been working hard, and keeping tracks of all things media has fallen slightly behind on my priorities list.

But things are about to change!

From today on I will procede to post news about the amazing job I have on a weekly basis at least! So stay tuned and ready for pictures of the events I am creating for my clients.

Thanks for the patience everybody!